


familiar

by hippopotamus



Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Childhood Friends, Dragons, M/M, Prince!Even, wizard!isak
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-08
Updated: 2019-09-22
Packaged: 2020-02-28 16:12:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18759880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hippopotamus/pseuds/hippopotamus
Summary: Valtersen raises his hand and a subtle glow extends from his fingertips, passing over Even and causing a sensation as though he'd just walked through a waterfall. He shivers, and looks to Valtersen for answers.“I'm checking if you're armed,” Valtersen says as if it should be obvious. “You do know it's still technically part of your official duties to slay dragons when you come across them?” He reaches an arm behind him, and allows the tiny blue-green creature to climb onto his shoulder. “But if you try anything, you'll regret it.”or: isak is the grumpy wizard with a pet dragon and even is the prince that needs his assistance





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hello literally no one asked for this fic but here it is regardless!  
> gotta say big thanks to my wonderful isi for all the brainstorming sessions that started this off, and to bri as well for both of u validating me through this because we all know i can't even brush my teeth unless someone tells me im doing a good job  
> also big thanks to the ori and the blind forest soundtrack bc without that i would not have the magical Vibes to write any of this  
> and uhhhhhhh enjoy! no promise about upload schedules none at all, this fic is probs gonna be two parts, part one is all written and is about 4 chapters long, whereas part 2 is ???? ?? ? ????? and ?????? ?  
> OK ENJOY THE DRAGON she features more in future chapters i promise

It’s market day. 

For several reasons, Even’s been anticipating it for a while. It’s always his favourite day of the month, Going out into the city centre, meeting all the townsfolk, and the travellers who come miles for this. All the stalls selling a different thing at each one, some things fascinating, some just strange. 

Even always enjoys market day.

It’s also his only chance to talk to the wizard alone. Or - the wizard’s son, actually, but since the wizard himself became ill a few summers ago, it’s his son that fulfils the role of Court Wizard - he’s the one that attends to the royal family, partakes in ceremonies, performs their traditional rituals, and, occasionally, is called upon in times of need.

The next ceremony will be the royal wedding of the Crown Prince and a Duchess from a nearby city, and it’s next month, if all goes to plan - which is why Even needs help.

He doesn’t want to get married. 

He always knew he’d have to - or be heavily encouraged to, anyway. Especially now he’s close to 21, and the kingdom is just waiting for him to do  _ something _ . He just thought that by now, the something might be more of a something that he could be excited about. 

Sonja, the Duchess, is...nice, he supposes. She isn’t a bad person, and maybe, if he wasn’t being pushed into this by tradition and public appearances, he would actually like her, too, it’s just that he  _ is _ being pushed into this, and so he’s pushing back. He can’t see anything but her flaws, her condescending manner, or her forceful presence, the way she has to make herself so immediately visible that it hurts. 

Put simply, she has the manner of someone who thinks they’re important, and it’s because she is. Even should have the same manner, maybe he does. It just seems so much more obvious, coming from her. Maybe it seems more obvious too because he just doesn’t want to like her, less still to marry her.

He could say something, but it would be at the cost of his reputation. It would, at this point, embarrass his family, were he to back out of it now. They'd probably let him, they've always trusted his judgement, but the general public are excited over this now, preparations are being made already. 

Even has never liked to disappoint people, but he can't do this. He wants to love someone before he marries them. 

The wizard’s stall at market is further out of the centre than most. Valtersen has never liked crowds - maybe it’s a family tradition, because his father never used to come in close to the city either unless he had to. He would always use the back entrance to the castle, and he lives a half day's travel away, out in the forest. 

Even has never visited his stall at market before, always too busy talking to the people at market who actually want to talk. He sometimes gazes at the little cracked and faded sign on the side of the street directing people towards Valtersen, and wonders if he could go there, but the day has usually passed by the time he has a chance. 

This month, Even isn't talking to anyone. He's not even here, officially. There's a rumour going round that he's ill in bed (helpfully started by his friend, the advisor’s son Magnus) and he has a cloak with the hood pulled low over his eyes - not a strange sight for anyone in market, there are all sorts here. Still, he feels strange walking past familiar faces behind familiar tables without stopping to greet them. 

He walks  on, determined, and it’s only a few seconds before he finds it, the little yellowed  tent that Even has always suspected holds all sorts of wonders inside - well, he's about to find out. 

He pushes back the fabric at the entrance and steps inside - into what feels like a different world. It's dark inside, and cool. The air feels lighter on his face, almost as if there were a breeze, but it's a still day outside. 

As his eyes adjust to the light, he looks around the tent - is it even a tent? it feels more like a cave, in fact, it  _ is _ one. The walls are made of rock inlaid with glittering stones, and holding  brackets with torches of blue fire. Somewhere in the cave there’s running water, and somewhere, his childhood - a blanket nest and a friend to curl up with and tell everything to - but, hold on, Even must be - must be dreaming, mustn’t he? 

Even looks behind him, at the fabric entrance. It's still there,and through a crack he can see the world outside, the cobbled street, bright and sunny, continuing as normal. 

He turns back again, looking into the cave. It's not a deep cave, he can clearly see a few metres ahead of him where Valtersen stands, facing away from him, murmuring inaudibly to something on the table behind him, concealed from Even’s view by his body. The strange feeling he had before he turned is gone, but in its place is discomfort, almost strong enough to turn him back.

He reminds himself that he’s in the presence of a wizard. This sort of mind trick is one that he knows well from all his lessons.

“Are you going to stand there all day, your majesty?”

Even starts and looks back to Valtersen. His back is still turned, but the signature sarcasm is unmistakable. He’s the only person who’s ever rude to Even, and it’s not about whether Even deserves it or not, but - well, he’s the Crown Prince. No one wants to be rude to the Crown Prince. He could (he wouldn’t) have them arrested for it. 

But the thing is, everyone knows that Valtersen is far too powerful to be questioned, and he uses it to his advantage. He’s far more powerful than his father before him, even. Even remembers when Valtersen would follow his father to the castle as a kid. He would always be chastised for his insolence, but never once listened, and never once had to. Most people thought that to challenge him could bring consequences, especially at his age. He was powerful, worse still volatile. No one knows whether he still is now, but doesn’t dare challenge him just in case.

Truthfully, though, it’s kind of refreshing to have someone say what they really think to him - even to be ruder than necessary. Everyone else is careful around him because he’s royalty, or whatever. 

Valtersen just doesn’t care about that. Whatever Even could do, or have done to him, is nothing compared to what he could retaliate with. If he chose to use his magic to gain power, he could be king, but Even knows well enough that he’s never wanted that.

Even glances around the cave, empty of other customers, and lowers his hood.

“How did you know it was me?”

“I don’t need to see you to feel the entitlement coming off you in waves.”

Even tries to keep his voice steady and unthreatening as he replies. “Why are you still the court wizard if you hate royalty so much?”

“Family tradition,” Valtersen replies, and Even can almost hear the roll of his eyes although he still has his back turned. Valtersen finally turns to him, keeping the creature behind him still concealed. “What do you want?”

Even steps forward. “Help.”

“And it couldn’t wait until I come to the castle next week?” There’s a smirk on Valtersen’s face, now. 

Even knows that he can sense things, that it’s one of his talents as a wizard whose mother was a seer. He must know why Even’s here.

“Well?” Valtersen demands after a few seconds of silence. “I can’t give you help if I don’t know what help to give.”

Even sighs; he should have known that he would be made to say it.

“I don’t want to get married.”

“Then don’t.”

“But I want to keep my reputation - I need - I want you to tell everyone that you see darkness in our future, that you can’t bind the marriage.”

Valtersen raises an eyebrow, smirk still fixed on his face. “Sonja’s not the one, then?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Oh, come on, your majesty, everyone always knew you wouldn’t get married unless it was for love.”

Valtersen is right. Even doesn’t want to acknowledge it, but he’s sure every one of his friends knows that he’s a romantic. 

“You don’t have to call me your majesty.”

“Is that not the proper way to address you?”

“Well, yeah, but, I mean - you can still call me Even. Most people do.”

“Ah, yes, the progressive prince. I’ve heard the rumours.”

Even doesn’t know how to respond to this. Although most of Valtersen’s rudeness is just sarcasm, almost as light as teasing, this has an edge of meanness to it, perhaps a little spite.

“I'm not - I don't - “ Even sighs. “Can you help me or not? “

“Why should I?”

“Because,” Even steps closer still, almost able to see what's behind Valtersen now, on the table amongst various bottles of swirling pearly liquids and little trinkets and other fascinating things. If he took one more step he could see it, but he knows not to approach too fast. “I can pay you. Or I-”

“I don't need your money,” Valtersen spits.

There's an indignant sounding squawk, and a burst of blue flames from over Valtersen shoulder. 

Even’s eyes widen. He doesn't know everything about magical creatures, or much at all, really, but he does know that fire-breathing isn't a common ability. 

But this cave is far too small. There's no way. 

Valtersen raises his hand and a subtle glow extends from his fingertips, passing over Even and causing a sensation as though he'd just walked through a waterfall. He shivers, and looks to Valtersen for answers. 

“I'm checking if you're armed,” Valtersen says as if it should be obvious. “You do know it's still technically part of your official duties to slay dragons when you come across them?” He reaches an arm behind him, and allows the creature to climb onto his shoulder. “But if you try anything, you'll regret it.”

Even lets himself stare in wonder at the tiny blue-green dragon that appears. It stands proudly, no taller than the top of Valtersen’s head, wings held back and chest puffed out as if showing off.

For all that Valtersen warned him that it was his official duty still to slay dragons, Even wouldn’t dream of it. It’s an archaic law anyway, made in the age of the dragons, when the world belonged to them, and humans were the ones stealing land and gold away without questioning why it was that they were getting attacked for it. 

But now that the cities are stable, and the boundaries set, Even thinks he might like dragons. At the very least, he has a lot of respect for them. They only attack if what’s theirs is taken, and everything else he’s learnt about them has told him that they’re intelligent, and compassionate, and peaceful unless provoked, if a little irritable. 

Valtersen smirks at the look on Even’s face and reaches up to scratch the dragon's chin, earning a pleased chirp in response. 

All Even can think to. do is let out an awed ”woah” and then sigh at himself for letting Valtersen see how impressed he is. “Is it a baby? How is it so small?”

“She's a pygmy,” Valtersen says, his bravado slipping, so that Even sees a moment of confusion, before he regains his confidence. “Your education doesn't cover half the species of dragons that actually exist anymore. Let me guess, you only know about great dragons,and how to slay them if they ever cross the border.”

Even looks away, ashamed, but trying not to show it. “You were there when I learnt about them,” he reminds Valtersen. “It was your father who taught me about magical creatures.”

“The  _ Royalty Approved _ version,” Valtersen says bitterly. “He wasn't allowed to teach you half of what we know.”

“Then - can you teach me?” Even says, perhaps a little too eagerly. 

Valtersen raises an eyebrow. “You want to learn about dragons?”

“I - yeah. They’re fascinating.”

“I can lend you my books, I guess,” Valtersen is suddenly hesitant - and Even knows why, but he pushes anyway.

“Can’t you teach me? I’ve never been good at learning from books.”

“Yeah, I know,” Valtersen half laughs, looking at the floor, before he clears his throat, as if catching himself. “I mean - I’m too busy, your majesty.” The emphasis he puts on the address makes it seem spiteful again, and Even feels his excitement deflate.

He tries to push one last time. “Just, like, an hour a week?” he suggests. “I’m a fast learner. And I - I miss you,” he says, swallowing as he forces the rest out. “I miss you, Isak.”

It’s as though the air itself tenses. Isak’s expression becomes a scowl, suddenly he seems taller, more imposing, and the dragon on his shoulder hisses, letting out a jet of flames that nearly reaches Even, who cowers away.

“Just because you want me to call you Even,” Isak spits. “Doesn’t mean I’ll extend you the same courtesy. We aren’t friends.”

Through his fear, Even stands his ground. “We were.”

“You address me as Valtersen,” Isak insists forcefully. “And get out. Go back to your castle.”

“But-”

“Get out!” Isak commands, and there’s a staff in his hands where before there was nothing, sparks flying from the end. Even wastes no time in leaving.

He should probably go back and force himself to like Sonja, anyway.

 

*

 

He doesn't feel at all guilty for trying to get out of marrying Sonja, but it's harder than ever to force himself to like her after he'd been so close to escaping it all. Most days now he finds himself wandering the city, greeting people he usually only ever sees at market, just to get away from the time he should spend with her. 

Until she decides she wants to join him, and they walk through the city together, and she's polite to everyone, kind even, but she doesn't see them as her equals. It's not that that's rare for royalty - in fact, Even knows he's the rare one, but he can't fall in love with someone who doesn't see the world like he does. 

But then, he didn’t always see the world like that. Didn't realise he had to, when he was younger, and everyone threw at him that he was untouchable, unparalleled in his importance as future king. 

He lost his best friend for that kind of mindset. 

It hits him now, after seeing him properly for the first time in months - the first time in years without the ceremonial wizard’s robes and hood, just how much he’s missed Isak. It was easy to distance himself from it, when his face was hidden. Easy to think of him as just “the wizard,” someone he’s never been attached to, never had a proper conversation with.

But Isak is the kid he used to share his lessons with. The boy that taught him how to build blanket forts, who made stars glow on the fabric ceiling, and taught him the constellations and how to read them. The eager twelve year old who persuaded Even to go with him onto the roof of the North Tower, and made a firework display for the whole city, even when Even thought it should just be for them. 

Even remembers how much trouble they got in for that with a fond smile, remembers how clear it was that his parents - and Isak's - didn't actually want to punish them for it. 

There's a yearly firework display, now. The city loved it so much that it became tradition, but Even doesn't know who's behind it. He can't imagine it would be Isak anymore, but he's not the only wizard in the city. 

 

*

 

Even didn't realise Isak was in the castle. 

One of the maids has fallen ill in the night, and Isak, as is his job, has been called in to see her. But no one told Even that he'd arrived. 

Even is with Sonja in one of the parlours. He almost hates every second they spend together, but there's a wide fake smile on his face when Isak walks into the room and stops short. 

He’s shrouded as always in his ceremonial hood, shielding most of his face from Even’s view. Isak’s father never wore that hood, but since becoming the official court wizard, Isak has never been without it. For Even, it's always kind of a relief, not to have to look at Isak, but at the same time - he misses seeing him. Going to market reminded him just how much. 

“I was told - the king was in here?” he asks, falsely polite now that it's not just him and Even alone. 

Even shakes his head. “He's in the throne room. How's Eva?”

“Fully recovered, your majesty.” 

It still stings to hear the address, but thankfully Sonja interrupts before Even can ask him once again to stop. 

“So you're the famous wizard?” she asks, standing while Even stays seated. 

Isak bows his head a little. “That would be me, yes.”

“It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Mr -?”

“Valtersen.”

“Mr Valtersen,” her smile, too, is false - although Even is convinced its a natural state for her. She speaks to - at - Isak for a while, and Even tunes as far out as he can go. 

In his pocket, there's the tool he uses to distract himself when he needs something. It's from when he was a kid, when he and Isak would build blanket forts, and Isak made the stars glow on the ceiling. Just before they were going to sleep one night, Isak took one of the stars down, and handed it to Even. 

_ “Here,”  _ he had said.  _ “Anytime you need something to focus on, you can use this. The magic in it will calm your mind and keep you present.” _

Even holds the star in his pocket tight enough for the edges to almost cut into his palm. Maybe the magic is wearing off, because he can't focus on anything. He just feels overwhelmed by voices in the background of his mind and Isak standing in front of him, so much angrier now than he was back then. 

Sonja is trying to call his name. He looks up at her, and she gives him a meaningful look, before turning back to Isak. 

Even straightens up, tries to look attentive, and pulls his hand out of his pocket - but in doing so, the star falls out onto the floor, producing a sound like wind chimes. 

If Sonja sees it - Even doesn't know what he'll do. It's such a close part of him, one that only Isak knows about - knew about. He doesn't know that Even still has it, after all this time. 

But, at the sound it makes against the floor, Sonja starts to turn, and Isak looks at Even, then down at the star, and holds his hand forward so that the star whizzes to him, and Sonja sees nothing. 

He stands up straight as Sonja glances between the two of them. 

“What was that noise?” she asks. 

Isak gives a guilty look. “Sorry,” he says. “Dropped this,” he waves the star briefly at her, without enough time for her to get a good look, then pockets it. 

Sonja nods,and drops the subject. “I'll go and find the king for you, Mr Valtersen.”

“Thank you, your highness.”

She leaves the room, and Even holds his breath. 

“You still have this,” Isak says, taking the star back out. “Why?”

Even shrugs, wishing he knew what Isak was thinking. 

Isak examines the star for a moment. “It barely has any magic anymore. All it does is glow.”

He throws the star back to Even, and leaves the room, giving no time for Even to tell him what it really does. That he can feel the magic still in there, and he can still see it glow in the darkness, when he feels hopeless. It's always there, constant, although it's power is faded. 

Mostly, it reminds him of Isak. 

 

*

 

Even’s mother calls to him as he walks past the library after dinner one evening. 

He walks in to see her, sitting down at the table opposite her, looking down at all the books already spread out, although dinner barely finished half an hour ago. 

She's always been an academic - Even wonders if he's a disappointment to her, that he takes more after his father in that respect. He could never focus on a book, but he can command the attention of a room with no problem. 

“Even,” she says calmly. “Where's Sonja?”

“Still in the dining room, I think,” he says. “Why?”

“Go and shut the door, would you?” she replies without answering his question. “We should talk.”

Even does as he's told, hesitating as he moves back to the table and sits, hands held nervously in front of him. 

She smiles gently at him. “You don't want to marry her,” she says, stating it as fact, as though she knows for sure, though Even has never mentioned it to her. 

“I - don't - I-”

“I'm your mother, Even. I know you.”

“You're not - upset?”

“Sweetheart,” she smiles. “I want you to be happy. But it does leave us with a complicated situation. Your people-”

“Dad's people,” Even corrects.

“Yours, Even. They're excited for this. Letting them down now - it wouldn't do good things for your reputation.”

“I know.”

She gives him a sympathetic smile, and reaches over to take his hands in hers. 

“When I married your father,” she says. “I was already deeply in love with him. But when the wizard at the time - Isak's grandmother - bonded us, I saw your father in a new light still. I felt closer to him, and I loved him more for it. There's every chance that this ceremony for you two might bring you to a point of understanding, a place where you can learn happiness for the future.”

“And if it doesn't?”

“I don't have all the answers,” his mother says. “But I do believe in your ability to find a way to make it work.”

 

*

 

The first of the three wedding ceremonies takes place on a grey morning, one where the sky makes it seem that nothing good can happen. 

This is the one Even needed Isak's help with, where the court wizard will look forward for the new couple, and tell them that their future will be prosperous, and bind their hands and souls together for eternity. 

When they were little, Even asked Isak to explain how it worked, the looking into the future thing. Isak told him everything, how he can only see an impression, as though there were lights shining on his closed eyelids, vague shapes that he can only make out with practice, and flashes of colour corresponding to emotions. Nothing is ever set in stone, and there's always the possibility that he could be wrong, too. 

But whatever he says, goes. 

It’s not a public ceremony. The only people present aside from. Even and Sonja are their parents, and Isak, his face hidden again by the traditional hood he wears. He stands beside the throne, deep in conversation with Even’s father, twirling a purple silk ribbon around his fingers. This is the ribbon that Even knows will be around his hands in a few moments, burning into his soul, leaving it forever changed, forever split between  himself and another. Another that he doesn’t care about enough to love.

Perhaps his mother is right, and he'll understand Sonja better by the end of this. Perhaps it will make him see her in a better light. 

The ceremony begins. Even still isn't ready for it. 

He faces her, and takes her hands in his. Isak stands beside them both, and winds the silk around their linked hands. 

Sonjas smile hurts his eyes, but he tries to match it nonetheless. 

Isak rests his hands atop their linked ones, and Even is certain he shouldn't care more about those hands than the ones he's holding. 

There's deathly silence for a moment. 

Then Isak takes his hands away, and takes a step back, now addressing Even’s parents. 

“Your majesties, I'm sorry - there's - I can't bind this marriage. I see too much darkness in their future.”

After that, the room descends into chaos, but Even feels lighter than he's ever felt. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO here i am again  
> i was about to start this note with the classic omg im sorry its been so long bc thats my natural state BUT its only been five days im AHEAD OF SCHEDULE GUYS  
> my laptop was dead set against me posting this and crashed like seven times so i think that means theres probably Actually a reason for me not to post but here i am doing it anyway  
> as always big thanks to my validation and brainstorming machines (bri and isi) love u guys  
> ENJOY

 

Even isn't allowed out into the city for a while. Despite his arguments that they can't stop him now that he's an adult, and future king, his mother pulls him aside quietly before he can argue too much.

“Even, you should be grieving. The city expects you to be grieving.”

Sonja, along with her parents, had made a rapid exit after the ceremony. By now they're now safely back in their own city, and Even thinks the air in the castle is lighter without her around - though still not as light as the air outside.

“But-”

“I know you're relieved, flower,” she says. “But it will hurt your reputation more than you know to spread that around.”

Even sighs. “I can't stay locked up in here.”

“Then ride out with Fallon. Just don't go to the city.”

Fallon is his horse - at least, the horse that he rides, when he does, the times of which are few and far between.

The only place he can go with her is into the forest that surrounds the city on the north and west sides - the east being farmland, which Even is certain his mother was including in her instructions not to go into the city, and the south being  the ocean. There's almost nothing in the forest, only deer and nymphs and the occasional faerie.

And - and Isak's house, somewhere.

He hasn't seen Isak since the ceremony. He disappeared so fast that Even had no chance to talk to him, to thank him, or to ask whether he said it because he was helping Even or because it was true.

Even wouldn't find it difficult to believe that there's darkness in his future, sometimes. There are days when it seems like darkness is all he knows, when he can't muster the energy to even stand.

Maybe it's time for him to pay Isak a visit.

 

*

 

He's at the stables at first light the next morning, with a bag full of all the cakes from the kitchens that Isak loved when he was younger. He greets Jonas, the tired-looking stable hand, with a cheery smile that Jonas tries his hardest to return before fetching Fallon for him.

“Here you go, Ev- uh, I mean - sir,” Jonas says. “Where are you going at this hour?”

Even gives a self conscious laugh. “Wherever she takes me, probably. But - in case she does listen to me for once, do you know how to find Is- the wizard?”

He expects Jonas to give a knowing smile and tell him he understands that Even wants to ask him why he saw darkness, but Jonas frowns, instead.

“I'm not sure he'd want you to visit him, sir. He's - I mean, last time he was here he told me if I let out any horses, not to let them to anyone who wanted to see him.”

“Oh,” Even says simply. “But - I need to see him.”

Jonas shrugs. “He doesn't want to be disturbed.”

“I can - I can order you to tell me, though, right? I can do that?”

Of course he can do that - he knows he can do that. He just hates having to.

Jonas is unimpressed, raising an eyebrow. “Yeah, I mean, you _could.”_ He laughs quietly, seeming to reconsider. “To be honest, you don't have to. I've been telling him to talk to you for years now. I'll tell you where to go.”

“You two are friends?”

There’s a moment’s hesitation, in which Jonas opens his mouth, and closes it again, before seeming to find the right words “Before you two were, actually. You - I guess you never asked him about it.”

Even looks down at his feet, ashamed. “I was selfish.”

“Yeah,” Jonas agrees hesitantly. Even doesn't respond, because he doesn't know how to tell Jonas he's allowed to agree - after all, it's the truth. “And now he's too bitter for his own good,” Jonas continues. “Go and talk to him. You know Swanhill Creek? Where it meets Westwater River?”

“I think so.”

“Go north at the point where the waters meet, two hundred paces or so. He's well hidden, but if you know where he is you should be able to find him.”

“Thank you,” Even says sincerely. Jonas nods.

“Just, please don't tell him it was me that told you how to find him.”

“I won't.”

People are acting strange around him this morning. Magnus demanded to know where he was going, and Even knows he’s always been scared of Isak, so he didn’t tell him. But it was almost as if Magnus sensed something, and almost demanded to be allowed to join him.

Then Mahdi, in the kitchens, when Even asked if he had any cakes that he could have. He didn’t argue - no one does with the Crown Prince. But when he handed the little bag to Even, he gave him a strange look, and warned him to be careful, though they barely know each other past Even sneaking down into the kitchens for food sometimes. They definitely aren’t friends enough for that kind of warning. Especially not when no one even knows where he’s planning to go, aside from Jonas.

But no matter. His head is with Isak, and he doesn’t dwell on it as he mounts Fallon, and sets off, red sunrise at his back and foolish hope in his chest.

 

*

 

He dismounts at the end of Swanhill Creek, beside the steadily flowing river. The sun is high by now, and the forest is deafening with birdsong, and for once, Fallon has listened to him, and taken him where he needs to be. Even takes out his compass, and points himself north, then leads her on with one hand on the reins, counting his paces while she nudges him with her nose to remind him that there are sugar cubes in his pocket.

At two hundred, he stops. He can still hear the river, the birds, the sounds of the forest but - the air feels still here. Tense, dulling the sounds somewhat so that it's as if he'd put his hands over his ears. He looks around, and sees no sign of a house, until he looks up, and sees smoke. From its position through the trees, it's coming from a point not ten paces in front of him, although he can see nothing there but the ground.

But then, he is in the presence of a powerful wizard, and keeping hidden is probably the best of his talents. Hide and seek was no fun when they were kids.

Walking forward is difficult, as though the air has turned to treacle. Fallon shakes her head, and tries to pull back, but Even urges her onwards, and she follows with a huff.

It's not long until they get through what must have been a barrier, and Even sees the little house - or hut, really, with a garden at one side, and a pond at the other. There's a field and a stable and Isak’s horse, Grandpa, behind the house where before Even swore there were trees. When they were kids, Even believed that he was called Grandpa because Isak had performed a spell on his real grandfather and it went wrong, leaving him as a horse forever. He only found out that that was false after asking Isak's father about it, and Isak had scowled more than Even had ever seen when his father told the truth.

Even wonders if Isak would mind if he put Fallon with Grandpa now, but before he can make any assumptions, Isak comes round from the back of the house, frowning as he sees Even.

“What are you doing here?”

Even stands his ground. “I came to thank you,” he says. “And - and to ask if - if you really see darkness in my future.” He tries to move on quickly from that sentence. “I brought cake, “ he finishes with a nervous smile, holding out his bag.

Isak stares between him and the bag he's holding for a while, eyes narrowed, as if distrusting Even. After a moment, he sighs.

“Come in, I guess, “ he says, walking to his door and pushing it open. “You can put Fallon with Gramps.”

 

*

 

The inside of Isak's hut is nothing like Even expected. It's simple, almost normal, were it not for the little details, blue flames in the fireplace instead of orange - just like they had been at market, and the rows on rows of bottles on the shelves, containing things like Even has never seen, fireworks, and miniscule trees, and things that disappear then reappear unchanged a second later.

But, like any other house, there's a bed in the corner, and pots and pans hanging on hooks on the walls, a washbasin, cupboards, and two armchairs by the fire, one of which is gathering dust.

It's cosy, much cosier than the cold halls and tall ceilings that Even is used to.

Isak moves his hand in a sweeping motion, and the dust on the armchair lifts itself away, landing in the fire and creating a little cloud around it. A strange coughing noise comes from the fireplace, as the tiny dragon emerges from beside it, shaking her head as if trying to clear it, and glaring up at Isak. She has an air about her as if, were she human, her arms would be folded and her foot tapping in irritation.

Even glances across to Isak, and tries not to let out the laugh that's threatening to tumble from him.

Isak rolls his eyes at the dragon. “Don't be so dramatic,” he mutters then looks back at Even, who looks down quickly to hide his amusement. “Have a seat, “ Isak says uncertainly. “Tea?”

Even nods. “Please.”

He sits on the edge of the newly cleaned armchair, not daring to presume to get comfortable. Isak could have him leave at any second, he knows. Isak moves around in the small room, gathering things from cupboards, plates and mugs and putting the kettle over the fire, letting the little dragon climb out and onto his shoulder, chirping into his ear as she does. Even doesn’t fail to notice the secret smile he gives at the sound, and his heart yearns for the times when he would see that smile every day, sometimes more.

Eventually, Isak settles in the chair opposite Even, sitting just as uncomfortably on the edge of the seat. Even realises he’s still clutching the bag in one hand, and holds it out.

“Here,” he says. “You used to like it, I hope you still do.”

Isak opens the bag with an expression not quite a smile, but more than indifference. “Gingerbread?” he asks, smiling now. “I do still like it,” the smile fades. “I didn’t think you’d remember,” he adds bitterly.

Even looks down. “I - I always remember you.”

“But you - you can’t-” Isak huffs in frustration, then composes himself. “You never showed it.”

“I-” Even knows he can’t make excuses, not now. He can’t claim to be a better person, because to Isak he’ll always be the selfish kid who claimed to be his best friend and never really acted like he cared - even though he did, he swears he did - he just didn’t know how to act like it. “I’m sorry. Really, I am.”

Isak shrugs. “Yeah, well…” he tails off, and inhales, forcing brightness into his tone. “I still like gingerbread, so.”

Even smiles nervously.

Isak puts the bag down onto the little table beside him, and stands to prepare the tea, handing one cup to Even, and keeping one for himself. “Sorry if you take sugar, I don’t have any. Hilda steals it.”

“The dragon?”

“No, the moth in the cupboard,” Isak answers with his usual sarcasm. “Yeah, the dragon. Did you think she didn’t have a name?”

“No, I did, it’s just - it’s not a very dragony name, is it?” Even asks.

From her perch on Isak’s shoulder, Hilda shuffles a little, and lets out a quiet chirp. Even’s not sure he should know what that means, so he continues, disregarding the sideways glance Isak gives Hilda.

“Although, from someone who named their horse Grandpa, I suppose I shouldn’t expect anything else.”

For a second, Even worries that he’s been too familiar with Isak, acted with him in a way that could get him kicked out at the very least, but after a second’s frown, Isak relaxes.

“She chose it,” he shrugs, and Hilda swings her tail round to hit his ear. “Ow!”

Even raises an eyebrow.

“When I first had her as a hatchling, and I was trying to name her,” Isak explained. “I warned her that if she stole any more sugar I’d name her Hilda.”

“And she did?”

“She did,” Isak says, with fond exasperation.

They sit in silence for a while, Even searching desperately for a topic of conversation, but Isak gets there first.

“So you wanted to know what I really saw for you and Sonja?”

Even nods. “If you can tell me.”

Isak doesn't reply for a moment, his gaze directed at his hands as if he’s deep in thought.

“What I saw-” he starts hesitantly. “It - it wasn’t darkness. Not for you together. It was - unremarkable. You'd tolerate her, but you'd much rather be elsewhere. But if you want to know if there’s darkness in your own future, I couldn’t tell you. Combined future shows only the parts you would share. And it’s -  it’s unbearable, to know what your own future holds, even as little as an impression of what might be. You start to spend your days working towards or against it, never really living as you should be.”

“Then how do you live with it? You must know yours?”

Isak shakes his head. “I can’t see my own future, I-” he pauses, seems to lose himself for a moment. “There’s this - kind of - barrier that stops us seeing, and only really powerful seers can get through it. But my mother - she did, once - , and she ended up running away - from everything. I’ve no idea where she is now.”

“I’m sorry.”

Isak shrugs again. “It was a while ago.”

“It was when-?”

_When I got annoyed with you because you wouldn’t do magic for a month._

Isak interrupts him quickly. “Yeah.”

Even’s shoulders sink, and they fall back into silence.  He’s half expecting to be kicked out at this point, but as long as Isak lets him stay, he will.

With one hand holding his tea, his other starts to fidget in the silence, at first drumming against his leg, then digging into his pocket to retrieve the little star, so that he can run his fingers over the edges and ground himself with Isak’s magic. He’s careful not to take his hand out of his pocket for this, hesitant at what Isak might say at it out in the open again, but his hands bump into something else in his pocket, too - a stray sugar cube left from the morning with Fallon.

He glances up over at Hilda, suddenly standing to attention. Not a second passes before she’s running down Isak’s arm, hopping between the arms of the chairs, and onto Even’s lap, bouncing excitedly, flapping her wings and bumping her head against his chin.

He looks at Isak guiltily. “I have a sugar cube in my pocket for Fallon.” He watches Isak roll his eyes, but he doesn’t seem angry, at least. “Is she - is she allowed it?”

“She’ll never forgive you if you don’t give her it,” Isak replies with a sigh that Even detects the hint of a smile through.

He takes the sugar from his pocket, and holds it out to the little dragon, who gives an excited chirp before standing on her back legs and taking it, and falling silent as she eats.

Even smiles down at her in wonder, wanting to reach out but unsure if that might leave him with a burnt hand.

“How did you get her?” he asks, glancing up at Isak to see a small smile quickly fading from his face.

“I found her when I went travelling last year,” Isak says. “The egg had fallen out of the nest, but when I tried to return her, her mother didn't want her back - even for a pygmy, she's tiny. Her mother didn't expect her to survive so, I looked after her, and now she won't leave.”

Hilda glares at Isak.

“I'm kidding. She's a good guard.”

With the light from the fire, Even hadn't noticed the sky darkening outside, until there's a flash, and seconds later, a loud rumble.

“Fuck,” Isak curses, standing quickly and moving to the window, watching outside where the rain has begun to pour. “I need to get Grandpa inside,” he says, then seems to realise something, looking back at Even and sighing deeply. “You can't travel home in this.”

Even doesn’t reply, meeting Isak's gaze nervously. Its true that he can't, even if he were a confident enough rider, it would be the height of stupidity - but then, he almost deserves to be sent out into the rain anyway, only Isak has always cared far too much about Fallon to send her out. Maybe he'd be made to walk.

In his lap, having finished the sugar cube, Hilda yawns, and curls up. Isak looks down at her,and rolls his eyes shakes his head almost imperceptibly.

“I'll get the horses inside,” he says. “If you move, she'll never forgive you.”

Isak goes out into the storm before Even can argue.

 

*

 

He returns a while later, soaked to the skin, and holding three bottles of -

“Is that lightning?” Even asks in awe.

Isak crosses the room, and somehow makes room on the already crowded shelves for them. “Yeah. It has a lot of uses.” He shivers, and moves over to Even, closer than Even knows what to do with. “I need to borrow Hilda.”

The little dragon raises her head sleepily from where it's resting on her paws, and looks toward Isak, who holds his hand out to her. She lets out a soft huff, and for a split second Isak is engulfed in blue flame, but it dies as quickly as it came, leaving Isak dry, his hair slightly fluffy. He runs a hand through it, and steps back, slumping back down into his chair.

“So we're stuck here,” he says. “Great.”

“Sorry.”

Isak shrugs. “You don't control the weather.”

“No, but -” Even hesitates. “Can't you?”

“I could, but I shouldn't. Large scale magic like that isn't  a good idea. Stop a thunderstorm in one place and you generally cause a new one ten times worse somewhere else.”

“Oh.”

“So, like I said,” Isak sighs. “Stuck.”

 

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello im SO tired but i just finally got internet back so YAY  
> enjoy!!!

Even brings it up after a long while of silence. 

“Why did you help me?”

Isak answers with a confused hum. 

“When you told everyone you saw darkness - I know I asked you to, but - wouldn't it have made you happy to make me miserable?”

Isak raises an eyebrow. “You think that's what I want?” he asks, voice soft, perhaps upset. 

“Isn't it?”

“No, I-” he cuts off, clearing his throat. “I have to serve under you for a long time, remember? Wouldn't be a great way to start it off, forcing you to marry - her.”

“I wouldn't have blamed you,” Even says. 

Isak is silent, though he shakes his head a little

“I couldn't do that to you,” he says quietly, determinedly keeping his gaze away from Even. A second later he stands abruptly. “I'm going to check on the horses.”

Even does nothing but nod, knowing that Isak doesn't want him to speak.

*

For a while, he’s alone in Isak’s house with his thoughts and a dragon. He searches through his mind for the right way to talk to Isak when he returns, the right way to heal what Even broke in their childhood, the right way to ask for forgiveness.

He comes up blank. His hand reach out absentmindedly to run along Hilda’s spine, then, realising what he’s doing, he pulls back in fear. She seems to enjoy it, though, stretching her legs forward and then curling tighter with a quiet chirp.

It’s at this moment that he decides that he and Hilda are going to be friends. Maybe it’ll get Isak to like him again, maybe it won’t, but either way, he’ll be friends with a dragon. Maybe she can teach him about dragons, if Isak won’t - and he’s already learnt something - that she likes sugar, and she chirps when she’s happy. In time, maybe he’ll find out whether that’s universal to dragons, or just Hilda.

He glances around the little hut to see if he can locate the books Isak talked about. Under his bed there are what looks like hundreds of books, stacked haphazardly into an organisational system that Even is sure Isak understands, but no one else ever will.

If he’d been more attentive as a child, maybe he could boast that he does. Maybe he’d really know Isak well enough, understand him enough to know how his fascinating mind works.

But, when Even was young, Isak was just a magic trick. A beautiful magic trick, entrancing and awe-inspiring with his light shows and his constellations, but a magic trick nonetheless. Barely ever a person in his own right, until Even lost him. 

He wants desperately to be more forgiving to himself, allow himself to remember moments in which he treated Isak as he deserved, and thought of Isak as the person he is, but the moments, while there, are few and far between, and clouded with selfishness and insensitivity.

Perhaps there is no way to recover from that. Perhaps this is them forever now, barely on speaking terms unless they have to be, only helping each other because the consequences of not helping would be unbearable. 

Maybe Even really should move on, and find someone he can start afresh with, who can get to know him as he is now, still no saint, but at least a decent person. At least someone who cares.

But there’s an uncontrollable urge inside him to repair his childhood, and win back his best friend. To coax the real Isak from the bitter shell that surrounds him now, hidden away out here in the forest, far away from anyone except when necessary. 

Even misses him being there. Just - around. Isak had - perhaps has, perhaps Even will find out - a certain energy to him. It may have been from his magic, bubbling up inside him and bursting from him in an excitable, childlike display - bubbles, or butterflies, or a whole ballroom turned to a wildflower meadow. But even when he wasn’t performing magic, the energy was still there, and the warmth, and the comfort. 

The feeling of home, if he had to describe it. The feeling of a blanket nest and a friend to curl up with and tell everything to. The feeling of constellations on a fabric ceiling, and firework displays on a roof, and soft hair against his nose and mouth while Isak drifted off to sleep in his arms.

Isak seems more subdued than he once was. Less ready to reach out and be reached for, but Even can’t blame him for that. 

He still has no answer to his question of whether to move on,and the rain grows louder to add tempest to his thoughts. 

“What do you think, Hilda?” he murmurs, and she lets out a tired chirp. “You’re a dragon. You’re meant to be wise. Do I move on, and find new friends? Or should I try and earn his forgiveness? I miss him, but it’s my own fault,” he pauses, watching Hilda’s chest rise and fall. “Do you think he misses me?”

She moves, standing from her position sleeping on his lap, and hops up onto his shoulder, curling round his neck like a scarf. He reaches up and strokes her neck.

“So do I stay?”

She simply chirps again.

The gentle sound of the door being closed alerts him too late to Isak’s presence in the doorway behind him.

“You can't exactly leave in this weather,” he says, but there's no anger behind it, though Even is sure he must have heard everything. 

He moves around to the front of Evens armchair, but doesn't meet his eye, just holds out his hand to Hilda again, calling her attention and allowing himself to be engulfed in blue flame, leaving him dry. 

Isak turns away, and busies himself on the table behind him. Even watches for a while as Isak takes down bottles from the shelves above him, and cleans them, or taps them once, twice to make the contents disappear and reappear, or upend them and cause a flurry of movement within - often not in the direction that Even expects the contents to move. 

When he's satisfied with what he's doing, he rearranges them, puts them back on the shelf, or carelessly throws the bottles into the bucket next to him. 

“What are you doing?” Even asks hesitantly, unable to hold back his curiosity any further. 

Isak throws him a glance, then turns back to his work. “Cleaning,” he says. “And preparing. If there's a lightning strike at midnight then I might be able to reignite the magic in these bottles.”

“Really?”

Isak shrugs his shoulders - Even knows that means yes. 

“But--surely the chances of that are miniscule. Is it, like, the exact stroke of midnight?”

Isak just hums, giving no real answer at first, and just continuing his task until one shelf is all checked. 

The next bottles he picks up are the newest additions to the collection, on the shelf above - the three bottles of lightning. 

He shows them to Even with a wordless smile, and Even lets out a noise of understanding. 

“But how-”

“If I break one of the bottles at midnight, it'll cause a wave of magic in the area. It'll reset the atmosphere, and renew old magic.”

“Isn't that dangerous?”

Isak shrugs. “Barely. Once you bottle lightning, it only has a fraction of the power it once had,so the area it affects is only a few metres. In the forest, the worst it'll do is wake a tree nymph.”

“They're dangerous,” Even points out. 

A slow smile appears on Isak's face as his hands start to glow, crackling with energy, and the staff that he conjured at market starts to appear. He twirls it round his hand. “Not to me.”

It's gone as quickly as it had appeared, but Even is stunned into silence, forced into the realisation that Isak could hurt him. If he wanted to - but that pushes him to the realisation that he would have done, already. Maybe Isak wants him here, in a way. 

Even’s never been scared of him before, and he's not about to start now. 

Hilda stands from her position on his shoulder, shaking herself awake and turning to Isak to make the same indignant squawking noise that she had made when he had put dust in the fire. 

Isak rolls his eyes,and looks at Even. 

“She doesn't like me doing magic in the house,” he explains. “I won't let her fly in here, and she's very insistent on fairness.”

“Are dragons often like her?”

“Yeah, They’re highly intelligent. Most of them -” Isak cuts himself off, and sighs, the corner of his lips twitching minutely. “You're just trying to get me to teach you about dragons, aren't you?”

Even does his best impression of someone innocent. “I'm just interested,” he says. 

Isak rolls his eyes, and turns to look under his bed, sticking out one hand and making a book fly to him. 

“Here,” he says. “Start with this. I don't have time to teach you.”

*

Midnight draws closer as Isak continues to sort through his collection of bottles. The sun sets before the storm has passed, and Even daren’t tell Isak that he’ll need to stay the night. He simply looks down at the book he can't focus on, and tries to learn at least something. 

(He does learn that dragons feel safest when surrounded by things that reflect light - most notably metals, or glass. He also learns that they mate for life, but if they find a mate that they can't breed with, they'll take in magpies and crows, and “raise” them instead.

Mostly, though, he learns that Isak hums when he's distracted, and that sometimes he takes down a bottle - one full of a particularly bright substance, perhaps, and on one occasion, full of fireworks - and smiles at it gently, as though he's remembering where he found it. One bottle he takes down contains a single flower - a daisy, perfectly preserved, and his hand closes so tight around the bottle that Even is convinced the next thing he'll see will be smashed glass.)

Isak hasn't much to offer but soup for dinner, but Even takes it gratefully. Isak refuses to apologise that it's not the food Even is used to, but even if he did, Even would refuse to hear it. It’s nice, despite the silence that hangs over them while they eat. 

To his dismay, Hilda had climbed down from his shoulder after Isak had performed magic, and gone back into the fireplace - “to sulk,” according to Isak. She doesn't come out for food - Isak places a piece of bread at the side of the fireplace and it disappears rapidly. 

“Is that what she eats?” Even asks. He hasn't read anything about dragons’ eating habits, yet - or at least, he hasn't taken it in. 

“No, I thought I'd just put it there for fun.”

Even grins at the familiar sarcasm, and Isak scowls. It's clear that grinning was not the desired effect of his words. 

“She catches mice, mostly. But she gets mad at me when I eat something and she doesn't get any.”

It gets later, and still Isak doesn't acknowledge that Even can't leave in darkness, even when the storm calms. Neither does he kick him out, though. 

The clock on the wall tells him it's just after eleven when Isak places the two buckets he'd filled with bottles beside the door. 

“I need to go,” he says, then hesitates. 

Even nods. “Okay,” he says quietly. The plea to be able to go with Isak is on the tip of his tongue, but he catches it. He knows he's on thin ice with Isak still, though perhaps they're getting closer. Perhaps Even will reach him, at some point, and he won't even have to stand on ice anymore. 

Isak sighs. “You can come, if you want.”

“You'd let me?” Even doesn't even bother trying to hide his excitement, and the hints of a smile once again show themselves in Isak's face. 

“If you want,” he repeats. 

Even would follow Isak anywhere. 

*

They walk mostly in silence, carrying one bucket each, and Hilda on Isak's shoulder

“She can fly, though, can't she?” Even asks before they both wordlessly agree not to talk. 

“Yeah. She's just lazy.”

Hilda chirps - Even almost believes her to be smug. 

The rain is long gone, save for the soaked ground squelching beneath their footsteps, and when Even looks at the sky through the trees, the clouds are gone, too. 

Now, the sky is filled with stars. Most of them are hidden by the trees, but the few he can see overwhelm him with memories, the times that Isak taught him the constellations under blankets, magical stars glowing from the ceiling. 

The real stars are incredible, but Isak's star is infinitely more so. Evens free hand moves automatically to his pocket, to hold it. Hilda turns to look at him with an inquisitive tilt of her head, but she must realise quickly that there's no sugar to be had, and she turns away again, huffing, letting little flames out as she does. Isak looks at her, and she puts her nose to his ear and chirps softly. 

They arrive at a ring of trees and Isak stops, setting down his bucket. Hilda finally shows off her ability to fly, and swoops up to a high branch of one of the trees. 

“There's less magic in these trees,” Isak says, looking up at their branches. “Less chance of waking a nymph.”

Even nods, and places his bucket beside Isak's. “So what now?”

“We need to put the bottles in a circle. They need to absorb equal amounts of magic.”

They work again in silence, and Even tries not to get distracted by the mesmerising contents of the bottles. 

When they finish, Isak bites his lips for a second before speaking. “You can put the star down, too,” he says. “Make it work again.”

Even smiles as he lays the star on the ground. He considers for a moment telling Isak what he didn’t tell him at the castle - that it’s never not worked for him, but he waits too long, and the moment is pushed away by Isak changing the subject.

“Five minutes,” he says, looking at the pocket watch he’s just taken out. He calls Hilda down from her branch with a whistle, and turns to Even. “You cold?” he asks. 

“I could be warmer.”

Hilda lands on Isak's shoulder, and he holds his hand up to her, This time, instead of igniting him, she seems to drop fire into his hand, almost as if she was spitting - only instead of saliva, it's a flame that lands in his palm. She does it for his other hand, too, and he holds one of the flames out to Even. 

“I'm not magic,” Even says. “Is it safe for me?”

Isak nods. “Dragon fire feeds off intent. If Hilda wanted it to hurt you, it would, but I don't think she does. Did you not manage to read any of that book I gave you?”

“Uh,” is all Even can say.

Isak just laughs quietly - it's the nicest sound Even’s heard in a while, and he takes the flame with a smile, appreciating the soft warmth it gives him. 

He ends up passing it between his hands, watching how it moves against him. It behaves almost like a liquid, falling when he tips it from one hand to the other - but it lasts, smaller now than when it started, but still strong. 

“It'll last longer if you stop doing that,” Isak says, without a hint of annoyance. In fact, he sounds almost fond, but Even doesn't dwell on that in case his hopes rise higher than they should. 

“How do you put it out?” he asks instead. “Not that I want to, but when I do?”

“You can suffocate it, if you have to,” Isak says. “But wait until Hilda isn't watching.”

He glances at his watch again, and stands straighter. “Can you hold mine?” he asks, holding the flame out to Even. 

When Even takes it, Isak fishes around in his pocket, pulling out the little bottle with lightning flickering around inside the glass. Hilda swoops away again, chirping as she finds a high tree branch to watch from. 

“I'd stand back a little, if I were you,” Isak says. “It shouldn't go far, but it could knock you over if you're too close.”

Even leans against a tree a few metres back. “Is this okay?”

“Yeah,” Isak says with a quick glance at him. 

He takes his pocket watch and places it in the middle of the circle of bottles, and it must be midnight, because the next thing he does is throw the bottle of lightning down so that it smashes against the watch. 

Even doesn't get a chance to see what effect it has, because he falls unconscious the moment the lightning is released. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello i needed validation so i thought i would post this  
> i have been working myself into a n x i e t y thinking that no one would like this chapter, so uhhhhh sorry if u dont  
> but i had to kick anxietys butt somehow so i decided posting is how to do that  
> enjoy? or dont but please b nice thx lovu

The first thing he registers when he regains consciousness is that he's surrounded completely by the smell of home. 

He's still with Isak, though. Still in his little hut - not in the armchair by the fire this time, but half buried under the blankets in his bed. 

So - maybe this is home. It is, after all, his childhood. 

He feels different, somehow. Lighter, calmer. As if a great weight has been lifted from him. 

Isak is beside him in a second when he sees that he's awake, pulling a little three legged stool up to the side of the bed and sitting down. 

“Are you okay?” he asks immediately, holding out a glass of water. 

Even nods, and takes the water with a grateful smile. “What happened?” he asks. 

Isak is silent for a moment, biting his lip and avoiding Even’s gaze. 

“I fucked up,” he says. “You shouldn't have been there.”

“The lightning didn't work?”

“No, it worked. Everything worked exactly as I thought it would, but - I forgot that - there's a lot of old magic in you. Stuff that I put there when we were kids, dumb spells that were made to wear off, like - “ he half laughs - “when I turned your hair pink or made your voice sound like a cricket - and they did wear off, but the traces were there. So, when the lightning hit, it - it reawakened everything, all at once. There's no non magic person designed to hold that much magic in them, so - you collapsed.”

He pauses, and looks down. “But -” he continues hesitantly. “I had to take all the magic out of you, to get you to wake up again, and I - there's something I didn't tell you.”

Even forces himself into more of a sitting position. “What is it?” he says quietly. “Isak, I'll forgive you, whatever it is.”

“That's exactly the problem,” Isak says. “You'd forgive me for anything. You always have done, even when we were kids.” 

He stops again, breathing loud for a minute, until he inhales shakily, and seems to force the next words out. “When we stopped talking, after I became Court Wizard - it was my fault, not yours. Or - it was my father's, really, he told me that if I was Court Wizard I couldn't be - so close to you. That I had to cut you off, somehow - but I knew you'd never let that happen, so I - “ his voice cracks. “I altered your memories. I knew you'd come back if I made you believe I'd done something wrong because you always forgive me, so it had to be something you did. I made you believe you were selfish, that the reason we stopped talking was because you never cared about me, or anyone. But you did, Even, you always have. And - you have your real memories back, now - so. You know the truth.”

So that's why he feels lighter. He has his childhood back. He has his best friend. 

“Isak,” he whispers. 

“I couldn't bear to make you stop caring altogether,” Isak says, voice trembling. “I didn't want to lose everything.”

Even reaches out, and takes Isak's hand. “Isak,” he repeats, unsure of what to say, but needing Isak to know that he does forgive him. 

Isak holds on tight in silence, and Even brings his memories forward, the real ones this time. 

He's so relieved to see that most of them are unchanged - Isak left most of his childhood with him. 

From that, it’s not hard to see where Isak got the idea to make him think he was selfish, but there are new details, too, moments where he was good - more of those than of times that he was selfish. Memories of the blanket forts, late at night, where it had once been a one sided conversation, Even telling everything to Isak, seeking comfort, seeking advice,and giving nothing in return. This time, when he looks back, he sees that he did. He was there for Isak, too, and he listened while Isak told him about his mother and his father and everything that was wrong and right, or just was. He was there for Isak when his mother disappeared and he  _ couldn’t _ do magic for a month. Instead, Even made paper stars and hung them from the ceiling, and held Isak tight until he slept.

He remembers Jonas, too. When they rode out together, they both greeted Jonas at the stables with wide smiles and cheerful greetings. They were both friends with Magnus, too, and Mahdi in the kitchens - the reason that Isak likes gingerbread so much, because Mahdi always used to sneak some out for him.  Even has barely said a word to him for years, but they were friends, once.

Isak taught him about dragons. Where they live, what they eat. All the different species. Why he should never,  _ never _ slay them, even if tradition dictated that he should.

The daisy in the bottle appears in his memories now. The morning after Isak had become overexcited, and turned a ballroom into a meadow, filled with wildflowers and bees buzzing around, and the smell of summer in the air even though it was in the middle of a bitter cold winter. 

Even had leant down, and plucked a daisy from the floor, holding it out to Isak. “Here. Daisy means best friends forever.”

(They had found Even’s mothers book of flower language in the library the day before. Daisy did  _ not _ mean best friends forever, but Even had never been good at remembering what he'd learnt from books.)

They're still in silence as Even recalls all of this, and he doesn't know what to say after it. All he needs is to hold Isak in his arms again, so they can fall asleep curled up with each other like they always used to. 

“What time is it?” he asks instead. 

“About half past one,” Isak says. “You weren't out for long.”

Even hums. “It's bedtime, then,” he says quietly. Isak snaps his head up to look at Even, expression unreadable. “I'll make room for you,” Even smiles, moving closer to the wall, and pulling the blankets back so that there's space for Isak. 

Isak starts to move towards the bed before his brain seems to catch up with him, and he hesitates. “You shouldn't forgive me.”

“But I do,” Even says, tugging on Isak's hand to bring him in close under the blankets. “You can't stop me.”

With little hesitation, Isak climbs in, and relaxes against him. Even feels the familiar tickle of soft hair against his nose and mouth as Isak settles easily into the position he always used to sleep in. Even brings his hand up to run through his hair, and presses his lips against Isak's forehead. 

“It all makes sense, anyway,” Even muses. “Your father never wanted us to be friends.”

“He thought we were too close,” Isak murmurs, voice heavy with exhaustion already. “And I - it was his last request, that I stop being so close to you.”

“Is that what you want? If you'd just have told me, I would have - I would have respected it.”

“You knew me too well. If I'd told you directly, you would have been able to tell that I didn't want that.”

Even responds by pulling him in tighter.

*

The next morning, Even wakes to light coming in through the windows and Isak's hair in his mouth. 

It's as if he dreamed through all of his memories in the night, reliving everything properly for the first time in years. And - now that he's sorted through his thoughts and his childhood, he gets it. He knows that he didn't just think of Isak as his best friend. 

It's too soon to act on it, after everything that's happened in the space of less than a day. But the knowledge weighs on his heart, makes it thump when he thinks about Isak being here, in his arms. 

He never knew if Isak felt the same, though. Never had the courage to ask, to potentially ruin everything between them. 

And it’s harder, now. Although he understands everything, and knows the truth, they can't immediately return to the way they had been, even if the essence of it was holding each other, and that's where they are now. 

He just has to keep his feelings bottled, at least until they catch up with everything they missed - and if, in that time, Even sees whether Isak feels the same or not, he'll know what to do. 

Isak stirs, shifting slowly in Even’s arms, turning towards him further as if he wants to bury himself in Even’s chest - Even wants to tell him that he's already buried deeper than he may ever know, but he keeps his mouth shut, and appreciates the moment. 

Appreciates the feeling of home. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello i'm sorry that these chapters aren't the longest i think it's just how i write best heh  
> enjoy anyway!

Hilda almost doesn’t let him leave Isak’s cabin.

He knows that Isak is a heavy sleeper, and since they were awake so late last night, there’s no doubt that Isak will be asleep for a long time still, while Even needs to get back to the castle. They’ll be wondering where he is, so he tries to wriggle out from under the covers, to slide his arm out from under Isak without waking him.

A chirp from somewhere near his feet as he sits up stops him, and he looks down and smiles at Hilda raising her head from her paws to look at him.

He reaches down to stroke her head as he continues to disentangle himself from the sheets and Isak, but she chirps again, more insistent this time, and stands so that she can move her body on top of his legs, feeling heavier now than she did when she sat on his lap yesterday.

“Hilda,” he sighs. “I have to go.”

She doesn’t move, but lets out a huff, and settles back down.

For a dragon as small as she is, it takes a lot of energy for him to get his legs out from under her, and he quickly stands as soon as he’s free to avoid getting trapped again. She huffs again, and he reaches back down to her, hoping to ask for her forgiveness, but she snaps her jaws and little sparks fly out.

She licks her lips, pleased with herself, when Even pulls his hand back. Though this was what he worried about yesterday - Hilda burning him, he’s fairly certain that she’s just playing around, trying to get him to stay. 

“I have to go,” he repeats. “I’ll come back soon.”

He moves towards the door, but Hilda squawks, loud enough to rouse Isak, and Even sighs.

“What’s happening?” Isak says tiredly. “What time is it?”

Even falls gentle at Isak’s tired voice. Perhaps he didn’t want to wake him, but the sound of his voice is such a sweet one.

“Early,” he says, fondness audible in his tone. “The sun just rose, but I have to go. I think they might be wondering where I am.”

Isak lets out a noise halfway between a grumble and a sigh, and Even steps forward.

“I’ll come back soon, if you’ll let me,” he says. “But I don’t want anyone to worry about me.”

He takes another step towards the bed, where Isak is starting to sit up, a small smile starting to settle on his face. Even leans down, and brushes his lips against Isak’s forehead like he had done last night, almost without thinking, almost as if he has no other choice.

The soft smile on Isak’s face widens, though his eyes are barely open from sleep. “I’ll let you,” he says. “Come back soon.”

Even nods, then looks back to Hilda, fallen silent again, and settling back into sleep, to Even’s confusion. He walks out of the door now with no one to stop him, but he does look back to smile once more at Isak.

*

He arrives back at the stables in the early afternoon, expecting to see Jonas, to be able to greet him properly now that he remembers him. Instead, he’s greeted by Elias, the other stablehand who Even doesn’t know as well, though he often sees him at the market and exchanges a few friendly words with here and there, and he’s certain that he used to hear Isak talking about his sister.

“It’s a good thing you’re back, sir,” Elias says. “People have been worried.”

Even nods. “Have they sent people out?”

“Not yet, but they’re thinking of it. I think your father’s in the throne room discussing it now.”

“Thanks. I’ll go and find him. And, do you know where Jonas is?”

Elias grimaces. “He’s a little unwell, I think. Between you and me, it worried him when you didn’t return yesterday, and he was the one that let you take Fallon. He spent the night in the tavern, and he’s paid the price this morning.”

Even pulls a guilty face. “I hope he feels better soon. Tell him I’m sorry, would you?” It’s mostly an apology for panicking him, but Even would be lying if he said it wasn’t about the last three years, too.

“Will do, sir.”

“And please, call me Even. 

*

He endures the interrogation from his father by occupying his mind elsewhere - namely, back at Isak’s cabin. He listens to the questions, and answers as vaguely as possible, all the while wondering what Isak is doing right now, whether he’s thinking of Even while Even thinks of him - or whether he knows, somehow. 

In equal measures, Even hopes that he does know, and that he doesn’t.

For the most part, he answers his father’s questions with truth - telling him that he went to visit Isak, and then the storm began, and he stayed because he couldn’t travel in it, and by the time he could it had gotten dark - and everyone knows that Even isn’t a confident rider. It’s a miracle that everyone still considers him a good candidate for king, since a large part of his father’s life is spent travelling to other cities on horseback. But then, he can still command the attention of a room. He prides himself on that. (And his swordsmanship isn't that bad, either, or so he’s told by his teacher.)

His father mentions Isak’s magic, and asks why he couldn’t have cleared the way home for Even, or at least sent a message, and Even realises he doesn’t have a good answer for these.

“Didn’t think of it,” he says sheepishly, all the while wondering why Isak didn’t either. 

“Are you two friends again, now?” his mother asks, quiet next to his father, but no less demanding of an answer.

Even doesn’t meet her eye, and shrugs. “Can I go now?” he asks. 

She responds with the look he gets when he knows she will ask about this again later, in a less official manner. Even wonders if she knew about what Isak did.

They permit him to leave, and Even quickly makes his exit. Magnus is waiting outside for him, having clearly been listening in to the conversation.

“You were with Isak?” he asks incredulous, and Even sighs, remembering too late that there’s a reason he doesn’t discuss Isak around Magnus - even last month, when Magnus started a rumour that he was unwell while he sneaked out to see Isak, Even had given him the impression that he was faking illness so that he could have some time apart from Sonja’s overbearing presence.

But, now that he thinks about it, that reason is - it doesn’t make sense. Even has believed that Magnus thinks Isak dangerous for the last three years, but in the memories he now has, he sees them all as friends, carefree, close, without fear. 

“You can drop the act, now, Mags,” Even says. “I know you don’t think Isak is dangerous. He told me everything.”

Magnus just seems confused. “Act?”

Even rolls his eyes.

“What did he tell you? He is dangerous, trust me,” Magnus demands, and when Even finally looks at him, he sees someone who doesn’t think what he’s saying is a lie.

He sees someone whose mind has been altered by magic. 

Had Even been too quick to forgive Isak? Is his judgement always clouded when it comes to him? As much as he needs his best friend back, maybe he needs more answers before he so hastily falls back into his arms.

However comforting that is. 

*

The next morning he walks out to the stables in search of answers. Jonas is there again, and the sudden urge within Even to embrace him tightly and reminisce on how much he’d missed is so strong he almost can’t hold it down, but somehow he succeeds.

“Riding out again, sir?” is the first thing Jonas says to him, and Even quickly realises he doesn’t know how to broach this subject, but Jonas must know what Isak did. The way he acts around him, especially two days ago - nothing else would make sense.

“Can I, uh, can I talk to you?”

Jonas’s back straightens. “Of course, sir.”

“You can call me Even,” it’s difficult to get his voice above a whisper - this next sentence could turn things out so badly. “You always used to.”

The atmosphere shifts, somehow, and Jonas’s mouth drops open slightly. “He - he told you?” he asks. 

“Yeah, I, uh, I got my memories back.”

“Fuck. Are you - are you okay?”

Even shrugs. “I told him I forgave him. And I did, I do, for myself, but - did he change Magnus, too? And Mahdi?”

“Not Mahdi,” Jonas says. “But, uh. Magnus, yeah. It’s - it’s complicated.”

“I can tell.”

Jonas sighs. “How much do you know?”

“That his father didn’t want us to be friends, and that he was the idiot he’s always been and decided he had to make it happen in the worst possible way.”

“Yeah,” Jonas half laughs. “Never asks for help, that one.”

“But you did help him, right?” He’s not - angry, exactly. Or, at least, he wasn’t. But - “you must have known about it.”

There’s no reply for a moment, and Even gets more tense.

“Jonas, please-”

“I never wanted him to do this to you,” Jonas relents. “You two are - were stronger than anything his father wanted, but… You have to understand that Isak’s father wasn’t a good person, he was controlling, but he was all the family Isak had. Isak didn't - doesn’t trust in his own judgement, he wanted to follow everything his father had set out for him, and he was young and he was upset, and his magic was almost past reason. Like it was controlling him, not the other way round,” Jonas sighs. “When he told us - me, Magnus, and Mahdi - what he was going to do, and Magnus disagreed, he - he was - he just pushed so much fear into him. I knew we couldn’t argue then, but I thought maybe if I stayed with him long enough for him to calm down, I might be able to change his mind later.”

“Later took a long time.”

Jonas looks at the floor. “I’m sorry.”

Even shakes his head. “I know well enough how stubborn he is.”

“You know even better now. You really remember everything?”

“I think so. He said he took all the magic out of me, so.”

Jonas smiles. “It’s good to have you back, then. Maybe we can get Mags back, too,” he pauses, and pulls a face as if deep in thought. “Can you still - you used to have those candles to call him,” he says. “Isak would never give me any, but if you lit those candles, he’d know, and he’d come.”

“I - I don’t know.” Even says slowly. “I barely remember where I kept them, but - maybe.”

The memories are coming to him slowly, as if through a fog. They must have been hidden by Isak’s magic, and now it’s as if he has to shake cobwebs from them to see them.  But somewhere, in the bedroom he used to sleep in when he was younger - there’s a drawer of little blue candles that could call for Isak, and maybe, just maybe, they might still work.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello friends its been a while.  
> some announcements  
> 1) i am too a n x i o u s to reply to comments bc its been so long but pls know i appreciate every single one of them <33333  
> 2) i can promise neither good quality writing nor a consistent upload schedule for the remainder of this fic, however! i can promise it will be finished!  
> 3) if ur here expecting a quality of writing on par with just add water, you will be disappointed. im doin this for fun, which means i will forget stuff and write plotholes and drop storylines like hot potatos if something better shows up. die mad about it (pls no come back im sorry i lov u)  
> 4) i may have said it somewhere before, i do have a vague plan for the rest of this! it's only a couple of chapters, maybe three, but we will see  
> thats my life now. we will see.  
> enjoyeo!

He lights a candle as soon as he finds them in his old room, in drawers full of memories that he wants to stay and lose himself in, but gets called for dinner before he has a chance. 

And, on his way back from dinner, he's called in to the library again, by his mother. She gestures for him to sit, and he does so without so much as a glance up at her. 

"You and Isak," she says. "You're talking again?"

He shrugs, gaze fixed on the table.  "Do you know why we stopped talking?" 

She doesn't reply for a second. "It's always baffled me," she confesses finally. "I've never seen anyone as close as you two. But - Isak didn't speak to anyone for two months after his father died. I always assumed you two just grew apart-" Even looks up at her and narrows his eyes, but detects no lies. She continues “-or that you were embarrassed that he saved your life. Either way, by the time he came back to his duties, you were long past friendship, and he never actually showed his face again.”

“Saved my life?” Even asks, stuck on the words.

“You don’t remember it?” 

Even shakes his head slowly. “He never said anything like that when we spoke."

She looks down. "He did warn us that you might have no memory of it," she says. "But I thought you just didn't want to discuss it. It was the day that we heard about his father, and you left immediately to go to him. The next we saw you Isak carried you back to us unconscious, after meeting a tree nymph in the forest. You were lucky he found you.”

It doesn’t sit right with Even, this story. He needs Isak here, to tell him the truth, about everything, because it’s all getting twisted beyond recognition and it’s only Isak that knows the truth of it all, because he’s the one that’s been playing with it.

He leaves his mother in the library with her books and none of the answers either of them wanted, and treads softly to where he left the candle burning, next to the chest of drawers filled with memories.

It’s nearly been half a day, now, since he set the candle burning - and it doesn’t have to take Isak half a day to get here anyway. He can speed it up, if he wants to.

Even loses courage. He’s no idea how the magic works in these, or whether it can be cut off - but why wouldn’t Isak have cut it off if he could? He didn’t want to see Even.

But Even needs him - for answers, yes, but also just - him. 

He should leave this room - blow out the candle and stop torturing himself with the knowledge that Isak probably cut these candles off, along with everything else. But the drawers are right there, and Even gravitates to them, pulling open the top drawer and losing himself in the contents.

Even hasn’t looked in the drawers since he and Isak were friends - years ago, and he hadn’t wanted to, but now, he never wants to leave.

The top drawer, the first drawer he checked for the candles, is full of blankets - not just any blankets, though. The blankets that he and Isak used to build forts and nests with. The blankets that he’s sure he could shake stardust out of if he wanted to. What he wants to do most, though, what he does do, now that there's no sign of Isak, is wrap himself in them, and breathe them in. They smell mustier than he remembers, but still, there’s something about it. Something like home.

The second drawer holds the candles, but even now that they don't seem to work, he can’t stop looking through everything, and  so he goes on, down to the third drawer, wrapped in his stardust blanket and with the scent of the candle filling his nose with it’s scent like pepper and cinnamon and something else that he can’t quite describe.

And that’s where he finds his old sketchbook. For all that he hates studying from books, he can fill one up with sketches within a month at most, and Isak always used to be there to make the little cartoons dance across the paper.

If only he could go back in time, take this sketchbook back to the lightning strike. See the little figures waltzing across the page once more. 

In that drawer, too, is the paper crown and staff they made as young kids, in their games of pretend, where it was Even that was the wizard and Isak the king. Isak would stand on the bed and order Even to bow down to him, then Even would point the staff at him and wrestle him down, tickling him until he gave up, giggling wildly all the while.

The fourth drawer is locked, but there’s no keyhole - maybe it’s stuck,but somehow Even doesn’t think so. He runs his fingers over the edges, trying to trick the drawer into opening for him, but no such luck.

“You found the candles.”

Even starts, jumping away from the drawers. It’s not that Isak sounds as though he’s accusing him, but. The drawer must be locked for a reason, and Even can’t think of who else would have done it.

“I wasn’t sure they’d still work,” Even says, though the fact that Isak is standing there makes it more than a little redundant.

Isak shrugs, and walks further into the room, sitting down on the edge of the bed. 

It’s only when Even realises he can see his eyes, wide with uncertainty, that he realises Isak isn’t wearing his hood. He’s not here as the wizard, he’s here as himself.

After a few moment’s silence, Isak speaks. “You think you forgave me too quickly.” 

Even shakes his head, because he doesn’t. He has his doubts, of course - but he could never regret forgiving Isak. 

“I just want more answers.”

“There’s no answers to justify what I did.”

“Then you regret it?”

Isak stays silent for a moment, avoiding Even’s gaze. “I never wanted - staying away from you was - it just-” he sighs loudly. “Yeah. I regret it.”

Even nods, then stands from the floor, leaving his blanket and moving to sit beside Isak, not too close, not allowing himself contact yet, but allowing the possibility for Isak to reach out. It takes him a while to realise that Isak won’t move, or speak, so Even fills the silence.

“Magnus is terrified of you,” he says. “You two used to be close.”

Isak clasps his hands together tightly, tight enough that his knuckles turn white and his breathing gets ragged. “It was an accident,” he says. “I couldn’t control it. But then - if I took it back, he might - might mess everything up. Tell you the truth.”

“But - you could take it back now,” Even makes his voice deliberately gentle, not in fear of making Isak angry, but because he wants to calm him. He’d reach out if he knew it would help. “Would you?”

Isak takes a deep breath and gives a shaky nod. “I want to try.”

He wavers, moves towards Even with the slightest of movements, one that Even could miss if he wasn’t watching so carefully. Almost as soon as he moves forward, he shrinks back again, and his hands tighten. 

Even reaches out instead, one hand carefully on his arm, then closing around it gently when he hears Isak’s breathing slow, and pulling him in close. Isak’s head falls onto Even’s shoulder as he relaxes into him.

“Fear is strong,” Isak says after a while. “He might not want to let go of it so easily as you did.”

“You can’t just take it away?”

“Someone else could,” Isak says. “But if I’ll be there, and his fear is of me, he’ll be holding onto it. It’s difficult to explain - I  _ can _ do it, I know I can, but - I could hurt him, or traumatise him. Another wizard would find it easier.”

Even considers Isak’s words for a moment. There are other wizards, somewhere, but he’s never needed to find them. Isak’s family are the only wizards who ever tend to the royal family.

“Can we find another wizard?” he asks eventually. “There are others, aren’t there?”

“Yeah - yeah. I know a few. Elias in the stables, his sister Sana’s one, and she’s good. I can talk to her - maybe tomorrow. It's getting late.”

It's only then that Even catches up to what time it really is, the heavy darkness outside and the silence of the castle telling them that everyone else went to bed hours ago. 

“We should sleep,” says Even. “But - this isn't my bedroom anymore.”

Isak just hums, and lifts the discarded blanket from the floor with a wave of a tired hand. It moves fluidly, and hangs from the top of the bed, the stars in the fabric igniting again and bathing the room in a soft glow that replaces the lamps that dim themselves to make way for the stars. 

Even smiles fondly. “Okay. We'll sleep here. Do you need to borrow nightclothes?”

Isak gives a sleepy nod, and Even has to push him gently away from his shoulder so that he can stand and get what he needs from his room. 

When he returns, Isak is curled up small on top of the covers, and Even would believe him to be asleep were it not for his eyes still on the stars. 

“Here,” he says gently,handing the clothes down to Isak who takes them and moves automatically to the bathroom. 

Even almost wants to tell him not to be long, but he seems to understand without being told anyway. He returns within minutes, and curls up with Even, under the covers this time. It’s so easy to find the position that they always used to sleep in, that they slept in at Isak's cabin, too. 

“Aren't you worried,” Isak starts tentatively after a second, his eyes fixed on the stars. ”That we're going back to how it was too fast? I mean - we missed out three years. How do we know we haven't changed too far to be friends now? Especially after everything I did.” 

Even tightens his arms around Isak. He's never been able to lie to him, but he's always been able to calm him. 

“Maybe a little worried,” he says quietly. “But I feel the best I've ever felt, with you here. Maybe you messed up, maybe we both did, but - we can fix it. I just want my best friend back.”

“I want mine back, too,” Isak whispers the confession. “But I - I hurt people. Magnus, and you, and - and people who tried to help when my dad died. I lashed out, and - I didn’t even know some of the things I did until I had to fix them.”

“What do you mean?” 

Isak breathes in. “You know when I used to go away for the summer, to learn magic?”

“You mean when you left me alone for months?” Even asks with a teasing  smile.

“Like, a few weeks,” Isak rolls his eyes, but a little of the lightness is back in his voice.

“It was too long,” Even murmurs. “But yeah, I remember.”

Isak nods, then turns his head, almost hiding, no longer so light. “I went back, when I realised how little control I had - or Jonas told me to go, anyway. But the guy who taught me magic, Eskild, he brought me back to my cabin to see what I’d done, I don’t know how he knew when I didn’t, but - I - I, uh -”

Even tightens his hold on Isak. “You don’t have to tell me.”

“You should know,” Isak breathes in again. “There was nothing alive for a mile around. And I tried to say that maybe it was because my dad had died, maybe he’d taken the life with him, but that’s not what happens when wizards die, and I knew that. When we die it puts life back into the earth, because we take so much out of it for our magic, but I’d - I’d taken almost all of it back.”

He shifts, as if he thinks Even is going to let go. As if he thinks that even something like that could stop Even loving him.

“But you couldn’t control it,” Even says. “And you fixed it, that’s what matters. If you fixed that, and you fixed me, you can fix Mags, too. Or - someone can.”

Isak nods. “And Eskild helped me keep my control,” he continues, a little more eager. “So it - it won’t happen again.”

Even smiles. “That's great,” he says. 

Isak nods. “Yeah, I - I won't be so - I mean. I won't make mistakes.”

“Everyone makes mistakes.”

“No,” Isak replies quickly, a smirk growing on his face, and this, now, is the most familiar part of him. The part that Even had missed the most, the teasing, showing off, Isak, pretending to be untouchable. “You forget who I am.”

“Oh, yeah,” Even joins in easily. “The master wizard, wasn't it?.”

“Exactly,” Isak grins. He shifts his head from where its pillowed on Even’s arm, and tilts up to meet Even’s gaze. “Isak the powerful,” he says, his voice suddenly quiet. 

It's the sort of moment Even could ruin. But he can’t, not yet - maybe not ever. He turns it into a joke.

“Powerful? I’m the one that’s future king, you know that?”

“Mm, not for long,” Isak replies, bringing his hand up to touch his finger to Even’s nose and causing a zap of energy to shock him. He flinches back, laughing. 

“I’ll have you arrested.”

“You’d miss me too much.”

Even looks down. “Yeah,” he says, voice quiet again. “Yeah, I would. Don’t leave again, okay?”

“I won’t.”

Isak shifts so that his head is resting on Even’s shoulder again, his hair tickling Even’s mouth. For a second, Even tightens his arms around him, then relaxes, breathing steady. 

"I talked to my mum earlier," he says. "She had no idea why we stopped talking but she told me that right after your dad died I - tried to come and see you and I got attacked by a tree nymph." 

Isak stills, breathing cut short, body tense. 

"There wasn't a tree nymph, was there?" 

Isak shakes his head slowly, then shifts, pushing himself up onto one elbow, and lifting a finger to Even's forehead. 

_ He's in the forest, and it's loud, louder than normal, teeming with life that shouldn't be here, because it usually isn't. His cabin is behind him, and somewhere further back, far into the trees, a mound of earth, because his father never got around to teaching him the funeral rites for a fellow wizard.  _

_ He knows all about how to bury one of the royal family. All about how to wish them luck in death, how to shift their rule to their descendants.  _

_ But he has no idea what to do for his father.  _

_ Jonas was here earlier, talking things over with him. Mahdi and - and Magnus too. They’ve gone now. Mags forever. _

_ It’s just that - he may not have any idea what to do with his father, but he knows what he has to do with Even. Because Even is too - _

Even’s head starts to hurt as the thoughts he hears through the memory tune out into a hum, a scrambled mess of noise that doesn’t make any sense to him. The memory itself continues, and eventually the noise subsides, settles back into Isak’s memories.

_ Even is coming. He can sense him by the river, he always has been able to sense Even. It’s because he’s future king, he has that power flowing through his veins already. The presence, the command. Everything. He has fucking everything. _

_ Isak can’t be around it anymore. It’s a distraction. He can’t be objective in his position, like he needs to be, if this is his best friend. The Court Wizard isn’t a friend. _

_ He takes a deep breath, steels himself for Even crossing the barrier, and then falls into his arms anyway, feeling the sobs taking over his body without his permission, feels Even’s warm arms around him, his hands, one on Isak’s back, one cradling his head. _

_ The  safety of it all. He can’t have this anymore. _

_ He pulls away - one touch and Even falls unconscious. _

_ Isak wipes his tears and takes his memories, leaving his own, as realistic as he can make them. He lifts Even from the ground, brushes a strand of hair from his eyes, and carries him home to his parents with a lie falling as easily off his tongue as if it were the truth. _

The memory clears, as though a blindfold is lifted from his eyes, and he’s exhausted - Isak too, by the way he falls back into the pillow, further away than he had been before showing Even the memory.

“I really am sorry for what I did,” Isak says in a voice so quiet that Even barely hears it. “I don’t - if I could take it all back, I would. I - I’ve missed you.”

Even smiles, conjures enough energy to reach out and pull Isak close, back into his arms, and presses his lips into his hair once again. 

“I know. I’ve missed you, too.”

**Author's Note:**

> big big huge thank u for reading ur an angel!  
> i'm on [the tumbz](http://evenshands.tumblr.com)  
> love always xxx


End file.
